I seriously haven't blogged in ages but that's because I'm enjoying my life. I've been so busy with school and work and hanging out and being happy.. It's crazy how time has flown by. I haven't blogged since before prom! I had an amazingly handsome date...before the drama went down, lmao. But thankfully we're on great terms again. Couldn't imagine not being friends anymore over what happened. What else.. I graduated. =) High school isn't that difficult but needless to say, I feel accomplished. I'm closing the door on a chapter of my life and I'm ready to jump feet first into the next, but before that I'm going to enjoy every bit of summer. It'd be too much to recap on now but long story short, I'm so happy with life. I'm lightweight stressed about my transcript because they said it won't be ready till mid-July and if I don't meet the deadline for SFSU my admission is going to be revoked; other than that I've graavy. =)

Some days I miss him, some days I don’t. I keep going on with my day. He comes around when he comes around. With or without, I still do me.


Yes.

STORY OF MY LIFE. LOL.

Okay so everyone is nagging me to go to prom and I was pretty fucken adament on NOT going but.. I kinda want to now. And now that I know the person I wanted to go with wanted to go with me. Haha. Again with LAST minute ass prom. I doubt he's gonna ask cos prom is in less than two weeks. :(

I spend way too much time caring about people. I'm tired of giving people second chances (hi Nick). I knew this whole fucken thing was a joke and I regret showing you how I fucken feel. I wish I just ignored you like I knew I should've.. Nothing is never different and people never change. This is exactly why I don't wanna fuck with no one. So I'll talk to dudes or whatever but I dont' wanna "talk" to anyone. I don't want a fucken relationship cos no one is solid. Everyone is so fucken, ughh. I'm happy for my girls who are in happy relationship with guys who treat them right but I can't see myself with anyone cos no one has ever treated me right. I'm not bitter about it cos I'm happy with my life but I'm just disappointed that I gave Nick the time of fucken day when he doesn't deserve shit from me.. "Changed" my ass.

My break has been going pretty well. =) Went to Tomi's on Tuesday with Elaine and David. Soo yummy. It was nice to catch up with her. She sent me the cutest text. We really are bffs even though we're not talking or spending time together EVERY second. We get that our lives can't be completely intertwined all the time but we always make time for each other.

Today I went to the beach with Kevin, Justin, Cam, and Rosie. It was fun. I didn't wear any makeup, ahhh. Haha. It felt nice. I got super tan though but today was fun. It was nice to spend time with the boys again. Justin's sister is pretty funny, haha. Idk, I thought I had more to say but I guess not. Lol. I'm guuuud.

I'm very happy. Even though this nigga Giovanni thought he could play me and I caught him and I'm doin me solo again I'm quite happy! :) Just 3 weeks till graduation and I'm too juiced to be working, hopefully 2 jobs if Max's doesn't give me more hours. I don't like having free time so I'm constantly trying to occupy myself with one thing or another. I'm steady tryna build up my savings. Err, the money in my account. I had almost $1,000 in my checking but I was hella mad so I went shopping, haha. But I'm trying to save extra now cos they cut my hours and are gonna again during the summer. The BBQ in ssf was hella fun in Friday. Cut 4-6 and went up there. Saw my Hansy horse, whee! I have the best coworkers ever. I'm blessed. <3

Nick just called me. Apparently I'm in the wrong for having sex with Giovanni. He got all mad at me like "I can't believe you. I never wanna talk to you again. You really a bop?" Blah blah blah, shut the fuck up. He acts like he didn't have sex with all these other female while we were talking for TWO YEARS. I asked him if what he did to me was okay abd justified and he said "Well you act like you weren't my main." Uh, that doesn't make all the shit you did to me okay. He knew I was right that's why he avoided the question. He can be mad all he wants but I didn't do a damn thing wrong. He can think I'm a bop, hoe, slut all he wants..I don't really care. Of course I still care about him but I'm gonna do me regardless. Me and Giovanni aren't talking and we aren't gonna be. We both don't want anything serious (idk what I want, lol, but whatever happens happens) but we just had fun. Is it gonna happen again? Idk. Do I want it to? I don't care either way but he's made me feel safe, happy, comfortable, beautiful.. And no other guy has ever treated me like that. He's a hella good person and that's what I like. Some girl will be lucky one day.

But as far as Nick is concerned.. He has no right to be mad. I expected him to flip out but he can't expect me to put my life on hold for him. He said he never wants to talk to me again. Fine.

Hah. It makes me laugh to see pictures Nick's in on someone's Facebook and he's wearing shit I bought him. Idk why that's funny but it makes me laugh like FUCK. This nigga was tryna act all friendly and shit and when I try to give two fucks about tryna be his friend he ignores me. Okay... *rolls eyes, lol. Idc but don't take the time out of your day to bother me just to fuck with me cos I don't care. Anyways, Max's isn't the same withouth my Hansy horse. ;( Can't believe he's really not there anymore. Who else are me and Emilio gonna think is cute? Lol. Other than Kevin but he's so short. I thought I was gonna blog a lot more than this but I'm tiyuud now.

I'm lightweight mad about how things with Giovanni turned out. He was really sweet and nice but I'm not gonna stick around and fuck with you...just to fuck. He was really trying to convince me he was like "that." But I don't trust that, plus I'm not some sideline hoe. He was so nice and I had fun while it lasted but what's done is done. Oh well.

I haven't cried in a really, really long time. I feel so crappy right now.

Giovanni came over this morning before we went to class. Seriously had the best time ever w/ him. <3 He came over and I had no make up on and I was in sweats and a t-shirt; he kept telling me how pretty and cute and gorgeous I was. You know he's a keeper, haha. We seriously just laid there most of the time talking. I love that. When he's got his arms around me I feel hella safe. I never feel dumb or anything around him like I did with Nick. It's great. I don't wanna rush things, or even want a relationship right now but I definitely like where things are headed. I'm a happy camper. 

This is why I'm single. No nigga can ever keep his shit together.

It's so nice to be single and not worry bout no one else's shit. I care 100x more about myself than I did when I was talking to Nick. I put myself on the back burner while I constantly worried about him, all the while he only cared about myself; not one fuck about me. I'm happier. That doesn't mean I don't get lonely or wish I had someone to just talk to and chill with but I'll get the man I deserve..in time. And right now I'm not even interested in none of that.. I really don't wanna fuck with no one right now. I'm too busy with work and school. But if I'm meant to be with someone they'll just fit right into my life and we'll willingly work together. With Nick it never worked and I was in denial about it for two years. It's weird that there's like (not that I'm tryna be cocky) a good amount of dudes that wanna fuck with me but I'm really not interested. Haha. The only dude I'd consider fucking with I already did, haha. But really though, I like where I'm at. Makin money, graduating in 30 somethin days then working full time during the summer the sexy boys at SFSU! Life is good. Miss my Bff Nugget any my BD. <3

I'm not gonna lie, sometimes it gets lonely.

But anywhoo.. I slept so late last night. -_- Well not late but later. Everyone was fucken texting me! I was hella hungry too. Hans said he'd take me to get Panda Express so he better. This week has been going by good so far. I'm driving to school tomorrow! FINALLY took my fucken debit card off of Nick's Xbox accounts cos that nigga wasn't gonna do it in a timely fashion let me tell you, lol. The guy I was talking to was so nice. He said "He lost a good woman." THANK YOU. Haha. He was talking to me about his zombie-killing experience, lmao. Cool dude. Now I'm home chomping on my pasta. I'm ramlbin duude. Okay, now I'll stop. I GRADUATE IN 40 SOME DAY. YUUS.

Nick, this is for you if you ever see it.

When you hit me, don't bullshit me. I don't have time for it. If you wanna talk to me then fine, I'll talk to you. I do want to, it's cool to see whsup with you and how you're doing but don't bullshit me dude. If you want some type of relationship/contact with me you have to come at me right. How you've acted the past few times I've talked to you pretty much shows me you haven't changed for shit nor have you learned/taken anything from what we went through. On the other hand sir, I have. My state of mind is completely different. You gotta show me something new and different. I don't wanna fuck with the old Nick is no way, shape, or form. I want a new frienship and it that leads to something else then fiine but I don't have the time nor the desire to repeat the last two years of my life. When you left it was a weight off my shoulders. If you really want me back in any way you have to come at me with something different. If not, it's not my problem.

But, I do miss you dude.

Without you love it's cold as fuck,

Nick was trying to talk to me more and more the past few days but he was acting like a little bitch on Friday for idk why so it's whatever, lol. I don't really care. It just goes to show how much he's learned from the relationship we had. He's gonna do him and I'm gonna do me, and I'm happy so idc. I'm happy for him working and losing weight and whatnot though. He got all fucken butthurt cos I didn't call him RIGHT AWAY. And I didn't even say when I "got home." I said "later." Why would I call him when I got home when I'd only be home for barely 30 minutes before I had to drop my brother off? I wanted to talk for more than that that's why I said "later" but he obviously didn't get it. Whatever dude, haha. Just when I thought things would be civil between us, oh well!

Got to chill w/ Elaine too! I was so happy to catch up and do girly things. Too bad he Mom is weird and keeps her hostage, haha. I wanna do girly things with her. We had a goodass meal at Outback though. Hi Elaine! Cos she'll see this eventually, haha. I had fun doll! =) Again soon.

It's cool to be single single and all but it's weird at the same time. It's weird to not talk to someone before I sleep and do stuff with. I miss the affection (even though with Nick there was a lack there of, lol). BUUUT, I've got plenty to choose from now. =) Not that I'm interested in any, lol. But it's nice to have options.

Work was coo. It was pretty busy in the morning/afternoon. I missed everyone! Emmy wasn't at work today though, that bitch. I'll see him in the morning though. I wore make-up to work today, like I've been the past few weekends, and everyone was going crazy. "You look so pretty!" etc etc, "Especially without your glasses." That's flattering but I want someone to think I'm pretty without make-up on. I barely wear any! Foundation or a tinter moisturizer, mascara, usually eye liner, and lipstick. Sometimes I contour and highlight but it's not like I use hella. But I do look pretty different. It was soo funny! Me and Justin went to In-N-Out on break and the cashier dude was being hella friendly and shit to me but I was all whatever, I was pretty sure he was tryna flirt but he was kinda..not nerdy but idk what else to call him. But he hella kept talking to me when I was waiting for my food and whatever. Then when we sat he kept coming in my direction finding something to do then he disappeared for awhile then came back and was all "You guys want stickers?" so we were like "Sure.." and mine said "Back" on the front so I flipped it over and it was his number. LOLOL. Omg. Ever since I did my hair I get more attention. It's funny. I'm flattered but I'm not looking for anyone. I'm done with dudes. It's fun to flirt and shit but I don't take guys seriously anymore. No guy, especially the good lookin ones!!, want a relationship and when they are in one they still fuck with girls on the under anyways so what's the point of being in one? I'll be forever alone! Lol. But as long as I'm not getting hurt by anyone then is all good. The attention is nice doe! ^_^ Hehe. I'm happy being a lonely girl. ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

Nick is trying to be...friends? Lol.. Idk man, idk. I don't know how I feel about this! I still love him to death and wish him nothing but the best, absolutely no hard feelings, but we can't be friends right now. Maybe in the future but not right now. It was nice to talk to him and hear his voice. It brought a smile to my face but is it still the "I'm in love with you" smile or is it like the "distant friends reconnecting" smile? I'm not really sure what's going on and I really don't care? It's not a pressing matter to me and it's not really on my mind so it's whatevs. It's not that I don't care but then again I don't care. It's complicated to explain so whatever, lol. The two years we did our thing really taught me a lot, after the fact. I was really blind to a lot while we were talking and if there was any hope of us really working things out and being in a happy healthy relationship we needed to be apart. I looked back on stuff and I really realized a lot and learned a lot about myself and being with another person. It taught me not to settle. Compromise is okay, but never feel like you're not getting what you deserve. The guy you're giving your all to should want to do that. Things changed between Nick and I and I didn't want to believe that. But when he finally just cut it was like a weight off my shoulders. A part of me was happy he left. It let me breathe. I do miss him though, I'm not gonna lie. But like Ronnie and Thang, it'll pass. I'm a-okay.

Nick texted me today. It was pretty random.. I don't know what to think. I kinda just brushed it off. I told him he needs to stay away and just leave me be. He asked me if I was sure and to be honest no I'm not fucken sure but I need to rationally think what's best for me. I can't let the fact that I still love him cloud my judgment; I did that too much already.

Vacation was fun. I really needed to escape the realities of home and just have fun, even if it was with my family. I didn't buy many souviners. All my money went to food and buying my fam stuff they wanted. It felt nice to see them smile cos of something I bought with my hard earned money. It stung a little bit to have spent all that much but hey, they're family. I get paid on Monday. It won't be much since I missed hella days but it's something. I guess I'll visit Erick too while I'm there.

The whole John thing has blown over. I have to admit, that shit was fucken HILARIOUS.

Without your love it's cold as fuck life is a movie we both say cut but most the time darling the sequel sucks.

Right now I really miss Nick. I know it's just a phase and it'll pass but I miss him. I miss the sound of his voice and the stupid faces he'd make when we would FaceTime. I miss his voice. I miss his hugs and how warm he'd always be. I miss the memories and I know that's the only reason I'm sad. Relationships shouldnt be built off memories though and that's all that kept me around for the two years I was. I'll always care about him, just like the rest of them. But right now I'm just kinda bummed.

I kinda forget what it felt like to just be single and think about myself. It's fun. I can talk to who I want when I want and say what I want. I miss the consistency of being with one person but after Nick I don't know how bad I really want to. I'm in between the two. When the right one comes he'll come but till then I'm just happy doin what I do. =)

In Florida tryna have a good time but I can't get you off my mind..

This nigga is crazy for thinking I'd be able to sneak out of my apartment at this hour! Crazy boy. I'm also not some girl to fuck with on the under. I'll kick it but we all know "kick it" don't mean kick it. Especially at this hour! None the less it's funny. He tried to bribe me with food.. LOL.

God please help me understand why I get treated like complete shit when all I do is love regardless? It breaks my heart. I mean it really really does.

I want good love, healthy love. I want consistency and committment. I'm over feeling like this. I'm tired of being mad all the goddamn time.

My boys were the best Valentines I couldn't asked for. Come through with the only love I need and can depend on. Especially the one I can call crying cussing and hyperventilating and they know exactly how to make things better. Thank god for him. :)

Happppy muthafucken 2 years.

I know it's not like an anniversary or anything but it really is a milestone in our relationship. It's been a long, beautiful two year struggle but we've managed to make it out on top - again, after such a rough three or so weeks. Regardless of the shit we've been through I love you. That may not be the healthiest thing in the world because you call me names, disrespect and mistreat me, and all the things I told myself I'd never take from anyone, but I still love you. I look up to you and think the world of you. You're pretty much capable of anything in my eyes. You're the bestest and I love ya.

Riding with a cute boy in his Lexus. ^__^ I feel special, lmao.

I seriously can't depend on Nick for anything. But I'm not surprised.

Do you know why I always forgive you for how you treat me? Because you never do any different. Being treated like crap is pretty normal.

This week has gone by pretty fast. I think I did pretty well on the essay part of the bio test today. Now tomorrow is the multiple choice. I'm up tryna finish 4 chapters of objectives, then straighten my hair, then study. It's gonna be a loong night. I cleaned out my bag today and it yacked Hello Kitty on my bed, haha. Went to Target w/ Moms and Dyl today. I can't wait to move and shop for furniture! It's soo close. I'm actually kinda excited for my birthday this year. I know it's herra far away but idk. I really should never procrastinate on objectives. There is soo many. Cuddles passed today. =( I'm kinda bummed too. She was my favorite dog. Okay, no more procastinating. Must do bio.

I need to study for the unit test for bio...like now. I need to do 3 chapters worth of objectives (that's over 100 questions) and read 9 chapters and know them by Friday. Uh, yeah. Not hannin. Other than that.. Mommsy bought me clothes and stuff from F21. Retail therapy! Both my Karmaloop packages shipped too! I'm too happy right now. Toodles.. =)

Work this weekend was loverrly as usual! I'm really sad Junard is getting suspended though because I'm gonna miss him. They're sending him back to El Camino. I lightweight feel guilty for telling Ate Lala everything but she's my boss and my loyalty is to the company, not to the employees. I need to talk to her about transferring to El Camino though.. I wanna just carpool with Hans and them during the weekends so I can still work in Milpitas. I don't wanna leave; plus El Camino is herra boring. Hans was all "Oh. You'll be closer to me! We can kick it." Oh Hansy, haha. He's mad at me cos I won't tellh him my secret. -_- Haha. Anywhoo! It's like.. 76ish more days till I graduate! I lost count but it's around there. I did some much needed retail therapy today. Yoga pant/legging things, tank top, jacket, cargo pants, and flats. Yuus! And my Mom said she's buy me $100 worth of stuff since she did for my brother and I already have two shirts, boots, and a bag picked out. Life's great right now. ^_^ After Florida though I need to start saving.. Oh well! One last purchase from UO and I SWEAR I'm done!!

I'm pooped.

I've been so busy lately! It doesn't even feel like I've got anymore stuff to do than normal. But I guess it's good. Makes time go by faster. Or do I want it to? Hm.

Story of my fucken life.

Whoo Whoo! Yesterday was good. =) I saw my love. He was in some sort of funk yesterday but it was nice to see him none the less. =) We had Red Lobster and it was great! Their biscuits were to die for... I wish I took one. My mansy is the greatest. <3 Now I have bitchass school. Only 79 more days.

I love my mansy.. He's the greatest mansy ever and I have to start being a little less bitchy and annoying. ^_^

Recap on the past few days:

Took my placement test yesterday. It was a nice day in Sf; I was surprised. The test wad alright. The geometry was killer. =( The people there already annoyed me, or at least the white bitches in front of me. -_-

Work has completely been stressing me out. I'm really sad April quit. We went to Tap Ex to talk about everything that's going on at work. She warned me and everything. I was texting Hans about it and was no help so I called JR who was cutting someone's hair and was also noo help. I texted him this morning cos I was super dreading to go to work so he took me to breakfast at Panera. He didnt even start till 1:00pm and I start at 11:00 so I felt hella bad but he showed up. He also deposited my check...THAT ISN'T EVEN GONNA CLEAR UNTIL TUESDAY. But he did it for me anyways so I won't complain. My check was $11 less this time.. Idk why.. It kinda sucks that it feels like I can more attention from someone else rather than the person I want it from. =|

Rikki, you gotta know when enough is enough.

83 days and I'm out this bitch. I take my placement test this Friday and I'm excited not because I have to take a 3 hour math test, but because I'll be on the campus. Too bad their school hasn't started yet and there won't be any pretty boys on campus. =( Lol. It's fucken cold and I could really go for some hot chocolate from Coffee Adventure. I think since I have no homework tomorrow I'll curl up with some French bread and tea and watch I Love You, Man in my jammies. Err.. I have that stupidass gov study guide..but that's easy. I'm here playing with Miggsy and I couldn't ask for anyone better to spend my time with. This kiddo is my heart. He came to visit me at work on Saturday. =) He's finally starting to talk. I really wanna buy the Uggs I found online for cheap! But I have nooo money in my account right now. Gay.. Smh. This dude needs to text me back asap. I need help.

I have the worst headache eveeer right now. I need to finish most of the bio homework, have a snack, then start doing my hair. This week is gonna be soo stressful for me because I only have 3 days to develop and print for photo. The lab is only open to photo 2 students which I think is really retarded but whatevs. I'm texting Bridgey right now! I miss her oh so much. We were bfffs. I hecka wanted to go shopping +start saving for college but Nick needs one last thing before I can do that.. I honestly don't know how much I wanna do this for him because he doesn't deserve it. We'll talk later if he calls me. Anywhoo, I'm gonna do homework.

I'm home, with cramps and bloat with my also sick brother. I don't have school today or Friday which I like but I have hella catch up to do and I hate missing school. Idk what I'm gonna do about my photo project duuude. I'll be missing TWO days of open lab. Fucken A. I'll probably turn crap in then do a regrade if I don't have time.

Work was bueno yesterday. The past two days of work went by pretty fast. Kuya Jerv isn't coming to Milpitas anymore. =( Neither is William I don't think. WHICH IS OKAY WITH ME! Haha. Ate Lala said when I move to Sf she wants me to work at the Max's there. I'll miss Milpitas though.. Kk, I gotta do this government essay. -_-

If you don't want to show me you deserve to be around, then I will treat you like you don't need to be around.

Trust.

Going out tonight to make things a little bit easier to deal with. ;) First though, a nap!

It's not that I'm happy your gone, by no means do I want you gone from my life. The thing is this: it's a relief to know I'm not gonna fight with someone all day, cry myself to sleep, be disrespected, lied to, and degreated. It felt so good knowing I wasn't gonna be on edge and second best to some dumb whore anymore. It's not like I don't love you and I don't want you in my life but there's only so much misery and hurt a person can take till they gotta take care of themselves (because you obviously don't). I always try and try and try to see things from your perspective and just be happy with what you're doing but I'm not going to settle or change my standards just to get a man. Nooo way. There's gonna be someone out there who is more than happy to make me happy.

Relationships are a two way street. One person can't always have things their way. I feel like I give a mile when you aren't willing to do the same for me. Relationships are a give and take, reciprocal. It make not be an immediate return but over all that's just how things should feel.

I have needs. I'm sorry I'm not like every other girl and are fine with getting no type of affection at all, but that's not me. I crave to be touched and the contact. I don't need that shit in public but when it's just the two of us, I need it. I want to be told "I love you" but someone who actually means it..

I don't really have much else to say.

I finally bought it!

There is so much stuff on Karmaloop I want but I don't have any money in my account to buy anything, haha. I need to deposit my cash but I'll do that when I get my paycheck next Saturday. I can't wait to go shopppang! ^_^ I only have $20 left in my account but you know what?! THAT'S OKAY. Cos I got my ring. =)

And the end I was talking about earlier? It came a little faster than I'd expected. But on the bright side, at least I won't have someone disrespecting me every single day of my life anymore? =|

God, why do you give me such terrible relationships that end in disaster and heartache knowing how much people mean to me? Thanks a lot. Pfft..

Aint that just a muthafucken convenience that every single time I call you just so happen to not be by the phone? You're lucky, especially becos I have a fucken mouth full to say to you.

I never wanna be in another relationship ever again in my life. I'm so young and I hate them, and men (and I use that term quite loosely), already. Why spend your life, time, love, and most importantly money, on some douche who's gonna treat you like crap? I always chose love over money and always thought love was more important; it's not.

I can't think of any reason why our relationship would work. Now that you're gonna be going to school and getting a job you won't have time to see me at all, and when you do get free time you won't wanna spend it driving all the why to see me (not that you even seem like you enjoy yourself around me or wanna spend time with me); you'll wanna relax and spend it with other people. Another thing is you'll be meeting so many new people and eventually you're gonna find someone to replace me with. You don't love me or find me all that amazing that you'd still talk to me so I don't expect it to last much longer. This sucks, but oh well.


I've pretty much just prepared myself with the worst so I'm not trying to get you to make me happy or see how upset I am becos it's a waste. I'm sick of being so sad.

I don't know why I fall for it every time. I know how I feel but for some reason you get me to think otherwise and I stick around. You get me to think what I feel is wrong and shit (again, can't even respect my thoughts).



I also don't know why I ever call when you never answer. There's also an excuse for that tkk. Pfft..

Omggg, I found a site that sells Uggs for cheap. I wish I had the money. x__x I'm wide awake, this sucks. Hans won't leave me alone about his stalker either. I called her for you and told her to fuck off and I said I wasn't mad anymore; what more do you want?! Smh.

It's really hard to see why leaving Nick is in my benefit but I know it has to be. It's a new year and I'm not gonna let myself be stuck on one person who treats me like shit rather than move on and eventually find the person that's gonna keep it solid and do me right. It's a new year and I can't let it go on anymore.

Work is my only escape

For now at least. I can't even describe how much I love my job and I love my coworkers. They always know how to make me smile and feel better no matter what the problem is. They really are the only people who haven't let me down yet. I wish I could stay inside Max's the rest of my life.

Idk why I got stuck with such shitty relationships in my life. Like wtf did I do so bad when I was young to get stuck with such crappy relationships. It's not even the people that are crappy it's just our relationship that is. That's why everytime I fight with someone whether it be friends, family, or a guy I don't even see the point in trying to work things out anymore because it's not like they do anything for me. I'm always wrong too. I don't even want anyone in my life anymore. It's too messy and everything ends up being all my fault somehow so why would I constantly wanna get blamed for shit? I don't ask for much and I feel like people just love letting me down. I hate even telling people what's wrong because even though they ask they don't wanna hear what I have to say. Why bother asking? No one gives a crap about Rikki so I'm done. I can't fucken deal with people anymore. It's too much drama and a waste of my time. I hate feeling like I try and try but I'm not meant to be stuck with the people that've come into my life and that I care about so much. They don't give a crap anyways. I'm done.





I wish I could do some retail therapy to temporarily make me feel better. But oh wait, I spent all my money on an ungrearful jackass who has no respect for me or my feelings. Way to go Rikki.