I'm sorry. I know I say it a lot and you tell me not to but I am. I think I realized a lot last night. I just don't see how you could go from treating me how you did before to all of a sudden wanting to change for me and loving me. I just don't trust it. It's not all you. I've always been like this. I just can't see why anyone would go from treating me poorly to all of a sudden wanting to treat me all good. Why the change? This is my fault too. I see that you're trying. I appreciate that and it makes me feel good but I don't trust you. I'm scared that it's all some lie and it's fake and then right when I feel everything is all good you're gonna up and leave me. I'm never comfortable enough to think "Oh yeah, he loves me." I'm scared that if I reach a good level of being comfortable that you'll just leave me. I'm sorry that I make things so complicated for you. I just need to learn to trust you. That's all it is. I over analyze everything and I need to stop. I can't just take the idea that maybe you really do love me. I always have to over think things. I'm working on it now. You're always saying "That was before. That was before." And really, it was before. If I don't let that go it'll just kill me...like you said. And it is killing me. So I need to learn to let it go and let the past be the past and move forward with this. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize all that. It'll get better, in time. Promise.