I won't go through with what a part of me is telling me to do because the logical part of me knows I'll regret it. And because Bffl said so. I know what would happen and I'm not gonna put myself in that situation. I'm not that type of person either. Also, I know I'm doing it for all the wrong reasons. Attention is definitely not a good reason. I'm looking for something that I'm not getting currently, somewhere else. I'm not that type of person so I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna get anything out of it other than maybe momentary satisfaction, maybe. And in the end how I really feel wouldn't change. So I won't. And I'm happy with that decision.

Other than that I can't sleep at all. I'm so anxious for my chem challenege lab tomorrow. I studied a bit earlier and I have a few questions I'm gonna ask Kenny tmr and I'm leaving it up to God to help me out tmr. I'd be beyond devastated if I didn't pass. I'd feel like a complete failure at life and I wouldn't even know what I'd do to myself if I didn't pass the lab and had to take the final. I'm gonna prove Mr. Mac wrong and pass the damn lab. I'm not gonna look at my results until Monday because I don't wanna ruin my weekend. I really wish my body would let me sleep. I'm beyond anxious. I can feel the physical affects of my anxiety right now. I have terrible aniexty and right now I am feeling no bueno. I'm trying to use those gay techniques my therapist suggested to calm myself down but it's not working. Ugh.