Much hasn't happened since I last blog. I hate that I'm neglecting my blog. But I decided to blog before I started straightening my hair. I did two chapters of bio. Now I just need to study prefix list and photo worksheets for the quiz tomorrow and I should be good for tonight. I feel so proud of myself. I'm staying on top of my shit this year, so far. I need to come up with a tshirt design for AP bio though. Since he's giving us points for the fucken thing. -_- Chrisermen came into the resturant a couple days ago and applied for a job. I was all "You look really fucken familiar" in my head then when I was skimming the application I was all "YEAH!! THAT'S WHO!" Haha. Junard was all "He's cute." Junard is so gay, literally. Haha. Went and got chicken from the resturant from the resturant yesterday and Ma'am gave me free 18 piece lumpia. ^_^ Gonna get paid the end of the month and I'm putting most of my check in my savings along with my tips. Gotta start saving for shit. But thankfully I'll have like, two (maybe three, depending on my timing) paychecks in my savings before I need to use it.

Everyone but you seems to take the time out of their day to talk to me but you. Tonton texted me this morning to say goodmorning and to tell me to have a good day. I thought that was hecka sweet. I don't need you to do that shit for me every day but it'd be nice once and awhile. I want some type of attention/affection. But I'm not gonna bother nagging you about anything anymore. Most of me has given up a long time ago, sadly.. And you haven't done anything to make me think this is worth it in the end. It was funny when I was talking to Josh he told me I needed someone who treats me right and gives me what I need. In my head I thought "Hahaha.. That's funny cos your very own friend doesn't even do that to/for me." And today you told me you wish you had the money to take me places. That meant something to me but then I thought "But you don't even try to take me places." To me, it's the effort and the thought that counts. But you don't do either of those. I feel like I complain all the fucken time but I'm not gonna settle for someone that doesn't even do the bare minimum for me when I'm giving them all I got. I can say though, I'm starting to drift away. I kinda feel like I'm just here and I'm not "in" it. It's hypocritical of me to tell you to try harder but I'm feeling like I'm letting go but you never tried, you never did anything to try and be a better person for me. Why should I keep on giving you my all when you don't necessarily deserve my effort? It's not fair that I continue to give this everything I've got when you couldn't care less. It's always this "I do care" bullshit but HOW do you show me you care? You don't. So why in the hell would I ever believe you? I'm not trying to change or be a better person anymore because I have no reason to be. I'm not gonna be a better person for someone who won't be a better person for me. It's only fair. I'm not bitching, I'm not mad, I'm just sayin.

Anywhoo, it's Thang's 18th birthday today. What a tripppp. I've known this guy for 6 years. It's funny to look back on what we had and where we are now. We don't even talk. And on the rare occasions that I did hit you up to catch up it was hella fucken awkward. I remember when you were willing to do anything and everything for me and now, you are just a distant memory tucked away somewhere in my mind that only comes out on days like this (your birthday). I just wanna wish you a happy birthday big boy and I hope life's been treating you well. My life has been great without you, I hope yours has been too.