I think I'm done trying to ask you to pay attention to me and start trying to treat me better because like you said, I'm not your girlfriend and you're not my boyfriend so you really have no reason to act the way I want you to. I'm done trying to get you to appreciate me and show me that you care because when it comes right down to it we're nothing more than just friends. You don't owe me anything. I'm just stupid for treating you as good as I do and spoiling you like I do. I do what a girlfriend's job is; which I am not. Where is this situation even going to go? Is it even gonna end up there? I don't know and that's what bothers me. I was fine not knowing when it was gonna happen, but I'm not fine not knowing if it's gonna happen. I'm not trying to rush anything but I'm not gonna stick around knowing that it could possibly never happen. I love you and that's not gonna change but I'm not gonna be with you anymore if nothing is ever gonna come of this situation. Honestly, at this point I'm kinda just there. I've lost pretty much all my will and desire to fight anymore. It's not that I don't care about you and it's not that I'm not solid for you it's just if you were in my position you'd feel the same way too. I'm not gonna compromise my happiness because of my feelings for you. I'm not gonna lie to myself anymore like I'm cool and everything is fine because I'm not. I'm not happy and I haven't been for the longest. I'm not going to stay in this whatever we are if I'm just gonna pour all this effort into it, not get anything in return, and just continuously get more and more unhappy. I'm not trying to be selfish but if you really say I matter as much as I do you'd be willing to just hear me out. If you were ever feeling like this you know I'd do whatever it took to make you happy or whatever it is you needed from me. And right now all I want from you is to listen and understand where I'm coming from. I don't think I've appreciated how much you really do accomodate and put up with the way I act. I've acted pretty ignorant to that for pretty much this whole time and I'm sorry I've been stupid and selfish because I know I don't say thank you enough for it. I'm a pain and I complain and I don't realize how much I do do things to irritate you and make you mad. I'm not saying I thought I was perfect but I just didn't realize that I was being a little ignorant too. Sometimes, I think we'll just never be more than what we are now and that kinda sucks.