There are some days where I wish I had a normal person in my life and a normal relationship like everyone else. I know there's always a story behind couples and they aren't always as happy as they seem, but their situation is forsure 10,000 times better than mine. I know I seem ungreatful but.. I can't decide whether or not this is really worth it. I'm tired of being one of a many and I've said that so many times I've lost track. But I put myself in the situation to let someone treat me like that. What really bums me out is that I have someone in my life that I love so much and he doesn't do me right. It's just so complicated. One minute I'm on top of the world, but the other 99% of the time it's just "meh.." I don't need some to make my heart skip a beat every ten fucken seconds. I just want some to be..fuck. I don't even know. Apparently asking for someone who is sweet, and loving, and caring, and understanding, and respectful, and supportive of me is asking for waay too much. And the thing is with you, you are those things. Just not with me. Can't make something happen that isn't there, I guess.



I'm so happy I have work tomorrow. Once school is over, I can escape from having to remember how I really feel inside.