I'm pretty happy with where things are going right now. I haven't had this positive of an outlook in a really long time. Granted, I'm still stressing over AP bio but I know the only way I'll be able to pass the class is to study. I mean duh, lol. I have my first driving lesson with an instructor next Friday, the day after Thanksgiving from 2pm-4pm. I get to drive their Mini Cooper. ^_^ I'm slowly getting more comfortable with driving but I have a long way to go. So for 2 hours I guess he charged my like $80 something.. I don't remember the price since I had to use Ma's card and I just paid her $60 back in cash. Idk how how many lessons that is. The total is $315. I need to call them and ask how that all works. I never write that dude's number down though.. I really should since he's given it to me several times.

I put Nick as one of my references for Pacsun and of course out of the 4 I gave they call him... Haha. So idk what he really said since he's being a brat and being difficult. But they called Max's and I guess John answered the phone and she was asking him about me and according to Justin he was hella talkin me up to her so I owe John big time! Thanks John. <3. Everything is going pretty good right now. Except for Nick..

I sound hella ungreatful, I admit. He really has come kind of a long way from where he was before and how he'd treat me. His temper is way calmer and now I feel like I'm the pissed off angry one who's quick to pop off at the mouth. The tables have turned. I need to stop getting so pissed off at him over the littlest things. It's really scary though, when you feel like the love you're fighting so hard for isn't really what you want. I was talking to Kristine at lunch and Jeff got her a charm bracelet for their 2 months and I've been with Nick for 2 years and I have nothing to show for it. Not that I'm saying I need material things but no card, no nothing.. I feel like I'm begging him to be this better person for me and to love me but am I really letting him? I complain like "Oh Nick you're terrible blah blah" when I have this huge guard up around my heart. I have this "oh I want a boo" mentality but the other half of me is like "fuck dudes." Sometimes I really question if he's the right guy for me. Hey, maybe he is but our relationship is just so fucked up at this point that there's no way to fix things. He's the only person I can see myself with for a really long time but at the same this whole thing just isn't cuttin it for me. Heh, what can you do though? I just don't know..

I need some change. Or something to boost my mood. I really want a haircut and to dye my hair. That's always been a thing for me, dying my hair to make me happy. Even though my hair is WAAY over proccessed, lol. I'm doin myself a got'damn disservice. >.< This was a long blog, felt nice. Toodles.